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What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stranger

Its been so long since I've felt like this.
I'm done hiding. 
So I share.
Writing is the best remedy I have.

 

Feeling trapped,
misery.
I am back in that place I found myself years ago…
took all the pills I could
failed at noose tying
thought about suffocation
drowning
the best thing I had was a blade
but even that didn’t take the pain away
here we are the old shadow
where else can we go?
The most pain comes from what ill never know
trapped
no reason to be

I don’t even know who or what is “me”

No foundation
no motive
I just want out

back to the stars
home.

Take me back
I didn’t sign up!!
I did not sign up for this
there is no way I chose to come
mom in a coma
I was meant to be undone
death was my fate
now I live with a shadow of hate
my words are meaningless
I speak a different language
silence my old friend
we are tired of this dance
my eulogy is written
I am nothing but a ghost
a shell moved by the shadow
darkness.
demons
feed
I let them.
I did not sign up for this
take me home.

Foxy Macaroon
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From The Moleskine : Connected
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